I LOST IT...

"I have every rights to know about you..."

Are you aware of what you just said?
I thought... " you wouldn't even care".
Why do you even care about me, if you just wouldn't want to bother of what's happening in my life...

It was a huge stupidity of me to exagerate about something just to get an attention from it. I wouldn't blame my loneliness, but was just longing for attention and care from you which I've been craving for. You wouldn't be able to understand this weird feeling deep inside me. The disgusted lame action that I've done had left me a million of questions unanswered and unattended, but that doesn't mean I would have to allow myself to be mocked at without you letting me reply to any of your messages.

"I have every rights to know about you..."

Well, even if you do, why now??
Why do you have to search high and low for the clues...
You have lost the trust in me now but what about the trust that I have in you despite without knowing the real intention of why you're doing all these.
I thought we are just acquaintances, and again, I thought "you wouldn't even care".

If you must know, I used to have a major feelings on you and tried every single way to get attention which I hardly get. I didn't sense the red light, and thought I will put a stop onto it till I hear from you that you care.

Well, the red light blinked at last. You said "you wouldn't even care..."
Though it was a huge blow, I still couldn't understand why it have to end up with the big answer " I have every rights to know about you".

I'm not asking you to stop mocking at me nor asking for apology or sympathy by having this entry. As far I'm concerned, you might even think that this is just another lame attention that I'm craving for.

And to you bro (you know who you are),
I've never had the intention of using you as the bait. Trust me, I never expect all of these to cause such a huge blow, especially for the both of us.
Bro,you know deep within yourself that I do love you and will still love you for no matter what goin to happen. Though I'm scared, I will still have to face the reality that you might have to leave me one day.

aRy